That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
