I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
