YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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