i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dear god my vagina.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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