It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
