But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
