OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
