You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
