You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
