I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
