If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Your dad touched me again.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
