So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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