I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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