There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
