I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
