Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
