Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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