Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
