I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
