Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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