I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
