STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Less talking, more tequila
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
