i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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