I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
