Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
