operation harelip BJ is a go
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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