I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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