So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
