when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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