R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
