You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
