the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
