I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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