I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
