why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
