i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
