we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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