and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
