O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
