Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We had sex on a dog bed..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
