I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
