i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
