I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
