wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
