Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
