Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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