I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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