Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
