how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
