do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
